Part 1: 2 Types of Listening
Pre-requisite: Always be patient… Sitting in silence is OK.
Types of Listening:
- Solution-Centric Listening
- Connection-Centric Listening
IMPORTANT: Solution-Centric < Connection-Centric
CONJUNGERE AD SOLVENDUM
PN: https://www.optimize.me/philosophers-notes/the-art-of-connection-michael-gelb/
“Conjungere ad solvendum is Latin for ‘Connect before solving.’ I made up this motto because, through teaching and facilitating innovative thinking for decades, I’ve discovered that the most powerful catalyst for inspiring creative breakthroughs and translating those breakthroughs into sustainable innovation is to guide people to connect with one another first, before trying to solve a problem.
When people really listen, when they are fully present with one another, it is, as pioneering psychotherapist Carl Rogers describes, ‘astonishing how elements which seem insoluble become soluble.’ Rogers adds that when genuine connection happens, ‘confusions which seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams.’
This isn’t just true in therapy. Connection facilitates creativity in all domains. When people truly listen to one another, something reliably magical happens: seemingly irremediable confusions do become clear flowing streams. This is true in a marriage, a friendship, or a professional collaboration.”
We’ll start with the “why” connection matters.
As Michael says: “Connection facilitates creativity in all domains. When people truly listen to one another, something reliably magical happens: seemingly irremediable confusions do become clear flowing streams. This is true in a marriage, a friendship, or a professional collaboration.”
Connection-Centric Listening always comes first…
Solution-Centric Listening is always optional and comes after Connection-Centric Listening!
The Framework
Start with LOVE: "I Love You” AND/OR Hug
Discovery: It sounds like you have some needs that are not being met…
Interpretation: How does that make you feel?
Ideation: "Oh I can only try to understand how ______(frustrating/disappointing/etc)______ that is…”
Experimentation: What do you think about the need of (the other person/people)?
Evolution: How do you think this makes them feel?
Finish with LOVE: "I Love You” AND Hug